We are continuing to talk about the individual responsibilities that partners have. What is the keyword ?

"Love" Eph 5:25,28 & 33 , Col 3:19. As wives were told to 'submit' , you would expect that the keyword for men would be 'rule'. But this is not so. The husband is to rule, but it is his responsibility to love which God's Word emphasises

  • What sort of love ?
    • Husbands are to love their wives "even as Christ also loved the church". But the church is not remote from Christ, but mysteriously united to Him. A husband and wife are also mysteriously united - "one flesh".
    • So men are also to love their wives "as their own bodies" ( Eph 5:22-33). Realistic love not starry eyed romance, which dies away. Something that requires work, effort, and often tears measured not by how a man feels towards his wife, but by how he behaves towards her
  • Forgiving love
    • fully aware of sin and weakness in the partner. yet not bitter, or harsh. Col 3:19 but, in faoct, the opposite. Proverbs 31:28-29
  • Providing love
    • The Church looks to Christ alone for all that it needs. The husband is the God-ordained provider for the family. it is not a disgrace to be poor, but it is a disgrace for the lust of a good standard of living to set aside God's order for the family
  • Pastoral love
    • The nourishing and cherishing of Eph 5:29 means that the husband is responsible for his wife's spiritual welfare, as well as physical As head of the family he must give an account for the state of his household
    • His love is purposeful. He cares for her growth in holiness, and tries to help her to become all that God intends her to be.
    • His own mouth will teach her what he has learned in the church for her spiritual welfare. 1 Cor 14:35
  • Ruling love
    • Only the One who gave Himself for the Church has the right to rule it. So it is with husband & wife. This position is put into his hands by God, not by men but this rule must never forget the principles of 1 Peter 3:7


Not a man lusting for what he can get, but delighting to give, even himself. "Love seeketh not her own".

    • a man like Christ, pleasing not himself. (1 Cor 11:3)
    • a man, like Christ, living under his appointed head.
    • a man, constantly giving up his pride, his self-will, his rights, because his chief concern is the good of the one that he loves.

What are the blessings of a husband's love and a wife's submission ?

  • A beautiful and powerful picture of the relationship that Christ has with the Church is set forth in the home day by day.
  • The children of the home are more likely to have happy and Scriptural marriages when their turn comes (as we shall see in future weeks).
  • "As for God, His way is perfect"